Saturday, January 22, 2005

10:59 pm - The Euro-English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English." In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k." This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v." During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. Zen ve vil rul ze vorld!!!!

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Sunday, January 16, 2005

6:20 pm - rem koolhas:«Χωρίς σχεδιασμό, αλλά ηδονιστική και έξυπνη»

"Σε μια αίθουσα όπου κυριαρχούσαν το μπλε, τα έντονα διακοσμητικά στοιχεία και οι πλουμιστές κολόνες στιλ μπαρόκ, ο ομιλητής επέλεξε για τον εαυτό του το απόλυτο μίνιμαλ: Σκούρο καφέ παντελόνι, λευκό πουκάμισο χωρίς γραβάτα και μαύρο παλτό σε γραμμή ρεντικότας. Δεν ξέρουμε αν αυτή ήταν η προαποφασισμένη ενδυματολογική επιλογή του, αφού -θύμα απώλειας αποσκευών- δεν έφθασαν οι βαλίτσες του. "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.enet.gr/online/online_text?c=113&id=4420128

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